Can I just say "Blah"? Would that be a sufficient blogpost? Or should I throw in a few extra words like ''ick" and "blech" and "whatever" is a popular one. "Blah" to the useless forum I created, "Blah" to finding a niche online, "Blah" to my girlfriend reading over my shoulder ;) and "Blah" to my writing that comes in waves (of the yearly kind). There are Needs and Wants in life, and there are times when they intertwine into one entity becoming this epic "neant" and that is how I classify my writing. It is this ''neant'' that takes over me claiming every shred of sanity that I have. Until I wake up at night screaming my head off while not a sound escapes my lips because I haven't writen anything in months. Why is it that I beat myself up over words on a page? Why is it that I allow this ''neant'' to take over every fiber of my being, it's nothing, it's insignificant, it doesn't define who I am, yet it is who I am...It's who I wish to be, it's who I wish I could be classified as. A writer...There's not a term that could describe me that fills me with more pride then if someone could call me a writer.
I have love in my life, I have a job (meger at best) I don't allow myself the time needed to polish and practice my craft of writing. I've gone back through my past attempts at proper writing and have noticed that over the last couple of years (since I've really gotten slack with it) my writing has degraded quite a bit...It leaves me with a sense of sorrow...I'm so self obsorbed in everything that is my girlfriend and the pety things in life that I've forgotten how happy writing can make me. I am no longer able to sit in front of this white screen, cursor flashing, thoughts flying from my finger tips...This is a rare feat, sitting here for a few quiet moments...It doesn't happen often enough...I wish I were able to write more. I really do...I feel this empty Blah feeling, and I know how to fill it. I know the only way to fill it is to fill this screen with my accomplished nonesense...How long will the void be filled?
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